We Can Dream (We Have To)
Dreaming, like writing, takes us somewhere our subconscious knows we need to go. Dreams can show us both what is unreal, and what is true. They can highlight memories from the deepest corners of our minds and connect us back to the past, or give us hope and let us see what’s possible for the future. They can point out where we have stress or unresolved trauma to work through, and help us imagine more for ourselves, and the world.
I used to dream every night. I kept a dream journal in college, but somewhere between getting my first dog, who slept snuggled up in bed as close to me as possible, and having a child, I became an insomniac and rarely seemed to get the kind of deep sleep needed to dream - or at least to remember them. But I’ve been sleeping better most nights, and over the last few weeks, seemingly out of nowhere, I’ve had vivid dreams every single night. The first thing I do when I wake up is jot down as many notes as I can - whether I dreamt about familiar people and places, or worlds where I’m not even sure I exist. I look for clues as to what they’re trying to tell me - and know that if nothing else, something from a dream may end up in a painting or a poem.
one of my most recent paintings, “I Still Dream About You” incorporates collaged elements from my dream journal
Even when I wasn’t sleeping, I’ve always daydreamed. Though I’ve been considered “practical” and “calm, cool and collected” in my professional life, I actually prefer to live with my head in the clouds. Maybe it counteracts my natural inclination to think of the worst case scenario for everything, because I have plenty of those kinds of daydreams too.
So, as someone who considers herself to be a dreamer, I’ve been surprised over the last three weeks, since I was laid off from my full-time job (you can read about that in my 2023 recap), to realize just how entirely uncomfortable I am with rest. I’m conditioned to feel like I constantly need to be busy and productive (and I know many of you are, too). But just like we can’t dream without sleep, we can’t daydream without rest.
I think letting ourselves daydream tells us what we actually want. And we can be afraid to see the truth in that. Because actually getting what we dream about is usually not easy. We don’t know how far we are from here to there, but need to have faith that we’re going in the right direction. It comes with risks, and sacrifices, and can hurt before it feels good. Dreams can be fragile - easily crushed by a world that tells us they’re unrealistic. But I don’t think that life can shine quite as brightly without them.
Not just the dreams, but the dreamers.
“I Still Dream About You” also features a speciality artisan glitter that is actually made from tiny flakes of glass, which I love for the diamond-like shimmer, and the deeper meaning of the balance between fragility and strength.
“I Still Dream About You”, 30x30” and “What If?”, 10x10”, both original acrylic and mixed-media paintings, are currently on exhibition and available through the Cape Cod Art Center in Barnstable, MA from January 22 - February 9.
